wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
