Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
