Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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