You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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