You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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