I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
