if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
