normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize