I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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