So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
