I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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