Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
