I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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