i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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