Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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