doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize