I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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