how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
