I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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