Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
