Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
