My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
