I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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