if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
