Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
