After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
and you fell through a lawn chair
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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