i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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