bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
