dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
