When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
