His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize