I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
