I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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