...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
