Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
