It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
