I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
