dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
