we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
