It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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