wakey wakey hands off snakey
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
