shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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