So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
