do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
