I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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