love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
