I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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