I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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