I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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