somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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