Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
