Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
