so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
