How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
