Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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