So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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