I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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