Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
