At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
