Your tits are I can't wait for
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
