If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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