Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
