we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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